It is a beautiful Sunday morning today. I woke up surprisingly very late today, 11. I looked around only to watch out for my mom’s flying slipper. It is not that I like getting up early but my mother does not let me sleep past 8. She says that the students who miss out on their morning hours will not be able to do anything useful with their time. As a matter of fact, she wants me to wake up before 7. Sounds pretty insane but it’s not. You see she believes that I go to bed at 11 and therefore I get a good eight hour sleep. What she believes is right in her own way. I do go to bed at 11 but I don’t sleep at 11. HUH! SMART!
Anyway, getting back to me waking up late, it was because of that big conversation that I had last night with my family for five minutes about my career and where my life was headed to. I hate these ‘conversations’ because it is never a conversation. Instead the only thing that happens is that I listen. And the only thing that I hear when my parents talk about my career is “Pata nahi kya hoga abhi iska?”(“Don’t know what will happen next”) “Kahan admission hoga?” (“Which college will she get?”) Etc. And boom! Guess what is next?! I hear this sentence, ”Jaldi se iska kahin ho toh ladka dhoondha jaye iske liye”(“As soon as she gets settled,we will start looking for nice boys to get her married”). No wonder this whole ‘conversation’ ends with me screaming on top of my voice, going into my room, locking it and pretending to sleep whereas what I actually do is cry for sometime and then watch some movie or in worst cases, some stupid American romcom.
I come from a typical Indian family, you know. Not that my parents are too conservative or restrictive but there is only problem. We millennials call it the ‘Generation Gap’, something very common in Indian houses. And let me remind you, there is nothing wrong with the generation gap. What is wrong is how we are Always fuckin scared of sharing our feelings and problems with our own parents. These are the same people who made us or as people say they love us more than anyone else. Yet, we feel uncomfortable while sharing our problems with our own family. Instead we turn to our friends for help. Friends are not always good at giving right advices but still we go to them because we know that they will listen to us which is exactly what we want in the middle of a crisis. But unlike friends, instead of comforting us when we need it the MOST, they start this ‘millenial bashing’ and a whole pep talk about our lifestyle, things they reminded us not to do and still we did, the warnings that they gave us beforehand. Basically, they start proving how we are too young to pursue our own passions and make our own life choices and how they were right the entire time. This is how there is a huge wedge between us and our parents. They still see us as babies who are used to shitting their pants. Well, we might as well are but they need to understand that we can make our decisions now.
There are times when I wonder that how things would have turned out if my or let’s say our parents were a little more supportive of the decisions we make. I don’t know how much difference would this have made but I am sure that we would have stopped running to wrong people for solutions to our problems.
It does not end here. It is EVERY GODDAMN thing. I don’t know about you but I cannot share something as simple as how many likes I got on my recent post because their first reaction would be “Bas yahi sab karo. Social media me hi dimaag laga rehta hai. Padhai likhai mat karo tum.” (“Keep it up. You should stop studying because you are too much into social media”).Now after listening to this, who on the earth would go to them again to show them something? Both my parents are working and these days we are locked inside our houses because of the pandemic. And trust me you, I cannot even use my phone in front of them. It is so weird. Because even if I am not, they will think that I am talking to ‘my someone special’. I smile because of these memes on ‘Ramayana’ but how on Earth can I do that without convincing them that I am not talking to my boyfriend. Also, what is with these “Phone me password kyun laga rakha hai?”(“Why is there a passcode to your phone?”) and “Darwaza kyun band hai?” (“Why is your door locked?”)questions. I mean I like to have some privacy but I can’t get it because my mother will think “Zaroor boyfriend se baat karri hogi!” (“She must be talking to her boyfriend”)I just don’t understand their need to constantly check on us. Undoubtedly, I got my trust issues from my parents.
I don’t like to sound judgemental but no one would deny these things. Out of the two, I think my father is more critical of me. Always disapproving of everything I say. And for some reason, he loves nitpicking on me. Even if I drop a pencil in my room, I can hear him shouting, “Offfooo!” from his room. He is that captious of my actions.
OH WAIT. It does not end here. There is more to it. Sit back.
Now, can someone tell me why they have to check our phones?! I mean,why?! Why do they do that?! Once sentence from my Mom, “Lao zara phone dikhao!”(“Show me your phone!”) Makes my heart beat faster than those racing cars in ‘Fast and Furious’. And mind you, if you are even a tad bit hesitant on doing this, you are hiding something, which we all know you are but you see, they are not supposed to know that!!!Even though this happens at my home occasionally (say once in six months (lucky me!)) but I do have friends where this happens a lot so I have to be very careful of the messages I send them. Not because I am afraid that my friend will get a good scolding after his/her mom reads my message but because my mother might get a call after that happens(one of the many bad habits of Indian parents).
In spite of all this, we love our parents too much to say all this on their face (also we are afraid of what might happen to us after we have spoken out, a lot of running around the house) and so we don’t. I just want that maybe once in a while all of us can have a good conversation(not ‘conversation’) with our parents because that would not only better our relationships but also improve our ability to communicate with our parents about our feelings. Because it’s time they realize that they can only protect us and not control us.
A HUMBLE REQUEST TO ALL THE READERS. Please don’t leave this article on your laptop/phone screens because who knows it might be your day to get your phone checked!
Twisha Dixit Feels 